Watercolors VS Type A Personality

I went to a "Healing Botanicals in Watercolor" workshop at my yoga studio last Saturday.  Because of the Wildly Alive Weight Loss program, I decided to step out of my comfort zone, live "wildly alive" and try something new.  I love to paint, but I am not good at it.  I mean....AT ALL!  There has been some amazing talent in my family.  Let's not even get me started on how much I love my Grandma Bonnie's art work, especially the water pieces.  BEAUTIFUL!!  But sadly, that talent skipped me.  I even struggle with paint by numbers!

So, I took this workshop.  I thought we were going to learn a little about the healing part of the botanicals.  With my interest in essential oils and natural medicine, this sounded great.  The class was actually just about the watercolor portion, which ended up ok.  While the instructor, Linda Pullinsi, held up examples I saw a few cacti.  I was excited; I have an obsession with cacti.  We were the last table to go up and pick our two botanicals.  No cacti left.  Bummer!!!  I did, however, see Arizona Sage and Lavender.  My original thought was to hang my paintings in my sacred space (where I meditate).  When I saw the herbs (hello...essential oils!), I knew I had to paint these instead and hang them near my oils.

Photo credit: Linda Pullinsi

For those that don't know, I am a total type A personality.  Perfectionist, anxiety prone, tense, incredibly self-critical, etc.  This does not mesh well with creative arts, like watercolor.  The workshop was meant to be relaxing, but I was on the verge of an anxiety attack (I was not the only one.  Another lady at my table, was struggling as well).  I haven't even started painting yet and I was questioning why I was there and doubting I would even make it through the workshop.  *SIGH*

My first piece was lavender.  I sketched it out first.  Lavender is a tall stem with a purple, multi-layered tuft at the end.  Seems simple, but let me tell you, it is not easy to draw.  Also didn't help that the picture I was using was fairly small.  Really didn't help that I'm type A.  I became so frustrated, I didn't even attempt to sketch the second piece.  Arizona sage is leafy bush with red flowers.  The stems were even finer on it.

Then the painting started.  We were given a palette with about 8 or so colors (primary and secondary).  We had to create our own shades out of these very basic colors.  Now, normally, I am excellent with colors.  If you have seen my greeting cards (or heck, even my coloring, lol), you know I am good at coordinating and matching colors.  But like I said, I'm horrible with paints. 

I started working on the lavender piece.  My stems were ok.  There was an attempt at shading that wasn't too horrible (ok, yes it was).  The flower part was another story.  My colors were flat and boring. The purple didn't feel right.  The shading and blending was awful.  The final result - a 4 year old's painting.  Oh well, onto the sage.  Starting my second piece, I was discouraged and being very hard on myself.  Since it had been too hard to sketch, I just went for it.  I mixed up some greens that were darker and yellower than the lavender stems.  I started painting.  Just let it flow and stopped thinking too hard.  My painting is....well...not too bad.  I'm starting to get a little hopeful while I mix up two shades of red.  And again, I went for it.  Just started dabbing paint where the flowers should be.  I didn't try to fit it into a pre-designed outline.  I let my instincts guide my hand.  The end result....a piece that showed side of me that many rarely see.  The me at my core.  The real me.  It was beautiful!

Until now, a week after my workshop, I have not shown anyone but my mom these paintings.  I was still being overly critical and scared.  So, I am living "wildly alive" once more and sharing my experience.  While I had not learned about healing botanicals like I had expected, I have instead learned a little about myself.  Letting go of the stress, control, and anxiety I carry with me all the time, and releasing the creativity and joy I so rarely show, I can be the real me...free and alive!

Freed{om}

Man, this has been an amazing week! I have been focusing on releasement.  Releasing of anger, negativity, bad energy, and weight!  I feel like a different, lighter person already.  Here's what I did...

I started meditating.  No, this is not hippie granola stuff.  It is the art of reflecting, contemplating, relaxing, balancing and manifesting your desires.  Meditation simultaneously focuses, brings peace and energizes.  It opens up the mind and soul for the answers you are looking for, even some you didn't know you were looking for.  And something we all need....stress reduction!  Listening to mediations at work, keeps me from freaking the heck out.

I actually combined meditation with chakra healing and balancing.  Each of the 7 chakras are a point of energy that represents different characteristics, senses, and parts of the bodies.  Through research and reading, I've learned which chakras are deficient (blocked or unbalanced) in myself.  For those curious, I am unbalanced in my root, solar plexus, and crown. Basically, I feel like I lack security, confidence, and stability.  I have a slow metabolism and anxiety.  Hmmmm.... So, my meditations have been focusing on these chakras.  I am in love with Ascension Boot Camp's root chakra meditation, and anything by Deepak Chopra.

I have also been using mantras throughout my day.  I go on a "Soul Stroll" by Erin Stutland (see previous posts) every other day, as well as use the "I am Enough" Meditation from the same program.  They both have some really amazing, powerful, uplifting mantras.  If you are interested, you can sign up for a free "Soul Stroll" mini track here.  I read the mantras daily, pick out one or two that resonate with me for the day, and manifest greatness.  Powerful stuff!!

I also went to yoga this week...first time in a few weeks.  I've been so focused on the walking and strength training, I put aside my yoga.  BIG MISTAKE!  I not only feel it in my flexibility, but in my mind as well.  It alleviates stress, focuses the mind, makes worries seem less important, opens you up for the greatness the universe offers, and provides an overall sense of well being and security.  I love yoga because it forces me to relax and really take care of myself, and just me, even if it's just for an hour.  Breathe in positive energy, breathe out the negative.

Monday began the orientation of the new amazing program I'm a part of....Wildly Alive Weight Loss by Nichole Kellerman Wurth (also see previous posts).  Guys, this is not just your average weight loss, exercise, diet plan.  Nichole makes you dig deep into the whys and hows of how you got to where you are now (unhealthy and unhappy).  She helps you break those patterns of holding onto negativity and covering emotions with food.  This week has included a lot of forgiveness work (myself and others) and letting go of negative emotions.  I've cried, started to get angry, but more importantly, I started to feel free.  I've just started the program and already my heart feels lighter.  Incredibly wonderful!!

All of these things on their own are AMAZING, but I wanted to kick it up a notch.  Every time I did one of these activities or assignments, I used Young Living's Release and Humility essential oils.  Release does exactly what it says....helped me  release anger and negative emotions.  Humility opened me up to forgiveness.  These oils are their own are incredibly powerful, but combined with tough emotion and mental work...WOW.  I honestly don't believe I could have gotten as far in this process or had it work so deeply, so quickly without these oils.  Want to know more about these amazing oils....send me a message, we can chat.

With the release of so many negative emotions, thoughts, and actions, guess what else other negativity was released......my weight!!!  The pounds have just been melting off of me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm working my tail off (literally).  I'm walking, watching what I eat, eating more fruits and veggies than I ever imagined, and drinking so much water I feel like I may drown.  But, I've been doing that for awhile.  I owe it all to release.  I have freed my mind and the result was a freed waist line. Now if you'll excuse me, I have more meditating to do.....OOOOOOMMMMMMM!

Namaste!

A "Wildly Alive" Valentine's Day

I hope you are all having an amazing Valentine's Day with your significant other, children, furbabies, friends, yourself, or who ever you may love.  Valentine's Day usually bums me out.  I haven't celebrated with anyone but myself in a few years (and I wasn't a very good date to myself).  And the last time I did celebrate it was a disaster (me and Red Lobster does not equal a good time).  Even though I am in a very wonderfully amazing relationship, we do not celebrate (which is ok, I get the reason behind it).  But, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning.  That is, until I saw this Facebook post... Feel The Love.

WOW!  This made me rethink something I've been trying to work out.  Like I mentioned in my last post, I recently finished the 21 day Get Moving Challenge through Wildly Alive Weight Loss by Nichole Kellerman Wurth.  I wanted to continue with her 12 week program, but there were some concerns (money, time, personal things).  I wanted it so badly, but I was letting these things stop me.

All in one day, I received a group email from Nichole talking about the issues with relationships and finances, I get a personalized call from Nichole (which I won through the challenge) where we discussed the main issue holding me back, AND I see her post about self-love.  It CLICKED!  I needed to love myself enough to do this, enough to break through those barriers.  I needed to put myself first, which is so hard for me to do.  I'm a natural giver and helper.  That's what I was put on Earth to do.  But, if I'm not happy and content with myself and my life, how can I be of any use to anyone else.  In that moment, I knew I had to do it no matter what.

And...well...I did it!  My Wildly Alive journey officially begins February 16th.  The moment I finished signing up, it was like a weight had been lifted off my heart.  The universe was telling me I needed this and I listened.  It is such an AMAZING feeling.  I am taking charge of my life and my destiny.  I am not content to sit here and accept unhappiness.  I am strong, I am powerful, I am Wildly Alive!

Because I chose to love myself, I have now had a wonderful Valentine's Day, even without celebrating!  Love yourself always!!  Until next time.....

The Magic of Walking

I recently took up walking again.  Me and the pups go for 2-3 miles, 30-60 min, of walking around the neighborhood.  We walk as fast as we can (when Jack isn't stopping to mark every tree and bush in sight) and have gotten up to an average of 3.15 mph.  Not too shabby!  I started walking for the pups' health and my weight loss, but we get so much more out of it.

The health benefits are incredible!  You can lose weight, gain muscle and tone existing muscle.  Not just the legs and butt....but arms, shoulders, back, and core, too!  It improves cardiovascular and lung function.  It can lower your risk for diabetes, asthma, some cancers, dementia, and osteoporosis.  It can improve your sex life (who doesn't want that?!?!).  It gives you more energy during the day, while helping you sleep better at night.  And it relieves stress, anxiety, and depression through endorphins and increased serotonin levels.  WOW!

What I love most about walking, besides the weight loss, is the variety you can get from your walk.  Feeling excited or need to get pumped up? Put on your favorite fast paced music and go!  Need to reconnect with nature? Go on a slow stroll and look at your surroundings.  Need to get out of your head?  Walk at a decent pace with some meditation tracks.  Pissed off, sad, or depressed? It pulls you out of your funk.  Happy, excited, joyful? It magnifies your feelings tenfold. 

When I first started walking, I had trouble going.  So, I downloaded audiobooks to my phone.  When I really got to a book, I had a hard time stopping.  I wanted to keep walking until I finished the book.  I still listen to books often (right now I'm listening to George R. R. Martin's Dreamsongs Volume 2).  I forget that I'm exercising, forget to think about my troubles, and slip into happiness.  Plus, I love to multi-task, haha. 

A few months ago, I discovered a fitness/weight loss challenge called Say It, Sweat It, Get It by Erin Stutland on Facebook.  One of the perks was a "Soul Stroll" mp3 track.  It has upbeat music and mantras.  It was AMAZING!  It got me moving!  I actually got up early before work (6am) to do it.  WHAT?!?!  Anyone who knows me, knows I don't get up earlier than absolutely necessary.  I loved it so much, I bought the full "Soul Stroll Volume 1" from her website (and hope to get her Shrink Session program soon).  Go check it out.... http://shrinksessionworkout.com/soul-stroll-1/

I also just finished a 21 day Get Moving Challenge for her Wildly Alive Weight Loss by Nichole Kellerman Wurth.  Some of the days, the challenge was to walk 10-20 minutes.  It felt so wonderful, I always walked for longer.  Her program also incorporates workout videos (that burn so good), mantras, and mental exercises to shift your mindset into a more positive, self-love thinking.  I can not wait to try her full program!  Go check her out as well.... http://wildlyaliveweightloss.com/

Both of these ladies (and their programs) are amazing!  They are showing me how to love myself and get what I want out of life.  It is breathtaking the changes I've made.  Not only am I getting movement back into my life with their programs, I am rethinking what I want to do with my life.  But, that's for another day.  Until then....go get moving!

My pack, my babies, my life

Let me tell you why Saturday morning is the best part of my week.  No, it's not because I don't have to work (though that is great).  No, it's not because I can sleep in (don't really do that anymore).  Saturday morning is the best day because that is my day with the pack.  My boyfriend "T" is at work, the dogs are allowed on the bed, and there is no alarm clock forcing me out of bed.  I can cuddle the heck out of all of them.....and in a full size bed, 3 dogs and a cat equals one big furry pile of love.

I mentioned in a previous post I would introduce my babies later.  Well, it's later.  So......I have the greatest pets in the world!  Seriously, I do!  They are adorable, smart, funny, intuitive, and did I mention adorable?  The pack include a cat, Duchess Num-Num (funny story attached to that), and 3 dogs, Jack-Jack Carter, Jill-Jill Bean, and  "step-dog" Max.

Duchess is an AMAZING cat!  She has a big personality, big blue eyes, the softest fur, and the prettiest markings. I adopted her from a cat rescue, Cactus Cats Rescue, as my Pryncess Fluffy-Butt was dying of kidney failure. I picked Duchess because she reminded me so much of Pryncess. Turns out, she is NOTHING like Pryncess.  Duchess is her own wonderful acat.  She is such a fighter!  Everything she is gone through with her outdoor adventure, boney paw, and tumor has made her even more amazing.  I could learn a lot on how to handle difficulties from her.  My pretty girl...my silly kitty

Jack is my soulpup.  There is no other way to describe it.  I had wanted a dog, but didn't have the time or energy to train a puppy.  Luckily, a family friend was looking for a home for Jack.  He is a rat terrier with the cutest spots and a stubby tail.  He was potty and crate trained, as well as a few tricks.  He and I didn't completely bond until I was alone and Pryncess was gone.  Once it happened, look out world!  It's me and Jack against the world.  Nothing can get us down!  I noticed how in tune he was to my feelings and moods.  He has been the greatest support system through all my troubles.  He is such a happy, smiley, loving, caring boy.I don't know what I would do without him!  I tell him all the time, he's not allowed to die until after me.  My handsome boy....my big boy...my old man

Jill is my baby.  She is very much a momma's girl!  I adopted Jill from a rescue, Little Rascals Rescue, because I though Jack needed a friend.  Jack suffers from separation anxiety.  I thought another dog would help.  I'm a bit OCD, so I wanted a female version of Jack in the looks department.  Jill is a ratcha - rat terrier Chihuahua mix - glossy black & white fur, long tail, big ears.  When I saw the picture of her, I knew I had to meet her.  When I met her and she rolled over for a belly rub, I knew I had to have her.  I originally adopted her for Jack, but she has done more for me than I expected.  She has taught me how to live.  She is a silly, quirky, funny girl.  My little girl....my baby

Max is technically T's dog, but I love him as my own.  This dog is crazy (in a very good way)!!  Max is so talkative.  I've never heard a dog speak the way he does.  When you play fetch, he dances while you wait to throw.  He loves toys, oh boy does he love toys.  He's like a toddler...has to have every toy out at all times.  Put them away, he immediately gets them back out, even if he's not playing with them.  Max is a cairn terrier (mix maybe?) with the prettiest strawberry blonde fur, the longest eyelashes, and the cutest ear curls. He is so energetic and full of life.  Max has taught me to not take everything so seriously and have fun!

The 4 of them together, all cuddled around me, is the greatest part of my week.  The love and joy I get from them is enough to help me through the toughest of days.  They are my pack, my babies, my life!!