So, I took this workshop. I thought we were going to learn a little about the healing part of the botanicals. With my interest in essential oils and natural medicine, this sounded great. The class was actually just about the watercolor portion, which ended up ok. While the instructor, Linda Pullinsi, held up examples I saw a few cacti. I was excited; I have an obsession with cacti. We were the last table to go up and pick our two botanicals. No cacti left. Bummer!!! I did, however, see Arizona Sage and Lavender. My original thought was to hang my paintings in my sacred space (where I meditate). When I saw the herbs (hello...essential oils!), I knew I had to paint these instead and hang them near my oils.
Photo credit: Linda Pullinsi
For those that don't know, I am a total type A personality. Perfectionist, anxiety prone, tense, incredibly self-critical, etc. This does not mesh well with creative arts, like watercolor. The workshop was meant to be relaxing, but I was on the verge of an anxiety attack (I was not the only one. Another lady at my table, was struggling as well). I haven't even started painting yet and I was questioning why I was there and doubting I would even make it through the workshop. *SIGH*
My first piece was lavender. I sketched it out first. Lavender is a tall stem with a purple, multi-layered tuft at the end. Seems simple, but let me tell you, it is not easy to draw. Also didn't help that the picture I was using was fairly small. Really didn't help that I'm type A. I became so frustrated, I didn't even attempt to sketch the second piece. Arizona sage is leafy bush with red flowers. The stems were even finer on it.
Then the painting started. We were given a palette with about 8 or so colors (primary and secondary). We had to create our own shades out of these very basic colors. Now, normally, I am excellent with colors. If you have seen my greeting cards (or heck, even my coloring, lol), you know I am good at coordinating and matching colors. But like I said, I'm horrible with paints.
I started working on the lavender piece. My stems were ok. There was an attempt at shading that wasn't too horrible (ok, yes it was). The flower part was another story. My colors were flat and boring. The purple didn't feel right. The shading and blending was awful. The final result - a 4 year old's painting. Oh well, onto the sage. Starting my second piece, I was discouraged and being very hard on myself. Since it had been too hard to sketch, I just went for it. I mixed up some greens that were darker and yellower than the lavender stems. I started painting. Just let it flow and stopped thinking too hard. My painting is....well...not too bad. I'm starting to get a little hopeful while I mix up two shades of red. And again, I went for it. Just started dabbing paint where the flowers should be. I didn't try to fit it into a pre-designed outline. I let my instincts guide my hand. The end result....a piece that showed side of me that many rarely see. The me at my core. The real me. It was beautiful!
Until now, a week after my workshop, I have not shown anyone but my mom these paintings. I was still being overly critical and scared. So, I am living "wildly alive" once more and sharing my experience. While I had not learned about healing botanicals like I had expected, I have instead learned a little about myself. Letting go of the stress, control, and anxiety I carry with me all the time, and releasing the creativity and joy I so rarely show, I can be the real me...free and alive!